Saturday, December 19, 2009


Dear Madam,
I realize that it is your prerogative to mutilate your body with as many tatoos as you like, but could you please refrain from lifting your shirt to show your friend the newest one on your stomach in front of a lobbyful of parents waiting for the elementary school Christmas program?
Thank you.

Dear Sir,
If a small child is standing and watching a performance, would you please not kneel in front of him, completely blocking his view?
Thank you.

Dear Virgin Wireless Phone,
While you may think your new ads are so very clever, hip and with-it ("My hot boss is going to be there. Oh, who cares if he's married?"), I think they convey that yours is the network of sluts and morons. As I am neither of the above, please consider our business association at an end.
Thank you.

Dear Young Male Cast Members of "A Christmas Story" (and you know who you are)
Seriously, guys- is it that hard to put a shirt on a hanger? Do you really want to go on stage looking like an un-made bed? Do you want - no, you know what? Never mind. Last two days- not really worth it.
Miss S.

on the other hand:

Dear Yes!, Ode, Newsweek, Mother Jones et. al.
Re: Anthropogenic Global Warming


Yes, I was laughing out loud at you at Barnes and Noble.

Not so grumpy.

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