Thursday, November 26, 2009

Family Food Network (updated)

Cell phone call overheard by Sis at the Target: "I don't know what she thought bringing that pumpkin pie- like it's the same as sweet potatoes. I mean, if you're gonna bring a pie- just bring a SWEET POTATO PIE!"

Target called me about a week ago to get the recipe for the Brocolli Rice casserole that's been a staple side at our Thanksgiving dinners, ever since my sister brought it home from her sorority at UT. It was one of those dishes that spread like kudzu through the kitchens of middle-class America in the '70's. Today we'd say it went viral.
After I read it to her over the phone, there was a short silence.
"So, this is the worst recipe ever, since it's a heart attack in a casserole."
"Well, sweetheart, it is over thirty years old."
"Ohmigod- there's Cheez Whiz, a stick of butter...Davy cannot possibly eat this."
"You could Google it and see if there's a lo-fat version. Just buy your Cheez Whiz early, or there won't be any left." I said, remembering the year I managed, in one of those slo-mo sequences, to snatch the last jar of that product off the shelf in the HEB before the other woman got it. I'm usually the least aggressive person in the world, but the thought of telling my extended family that there would be no B-R casserole because I wimped out spurred me to action movie lengths. If I'd had a bullwhip, I'd have used it.

She calls a week later to ask if she can use fresh steamed brocolli, instead of frozen and what kind of rice should she buy? It seems, searching the net, that someone has decided to jazz this up with wild rice. That is just wrong, people. It's basmati or Uncle Ben's. But steamed brocolli is okay.
She is also bringing two other things to dinner: Herb-butter bread and our new favorite appetizer. This is a jar of jalapeno fruit jelly, poured over a block of cream cheese, and served with crackers. That's the whole recipe and the boyfriend can't eat that, either.

But he can eat the Herb-butter bread, the recipe for which I copied from, I'm sorry to say, a 1971 copy of S2x and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown. It's nothing but butter turned green with a variety of herbs and garlic salt spread on French/Italian bread. It evaporates the second you take it out of the oven.
It's my second party piece- the first being tacos.

We are going to my brother's for dinner. We will see how a walking Morgan likes the deer heads that terrorized Bubs year before last.
Grateful for so many things, you included. Have a wonderful Day!

Update: my youngest brother's wife brought us a new appetizer: Keebler stackers topped with white cheddar, slices of Granny Smith apples and honey. There was an actual honeycomb, because it's about the presentation. Alas, jalapeno jelly on cream cheese has met it's match and lost.
She also brought this for dessert, to which she added some dried cranberries. Words fail.
Lucky day for us all when Chas needed a legal assistant.
"I don't know how good her skills are, Mom, but she sure is pretty."


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Only ONE stick of butter? :^)

I can truly say I never once imagined you with a bullwhip Sal...until now.

"That last cheezwhiz is mine!" Snap! :^)

ms. Givens said...

Fun post. I am always at a loss when it comes to appetizers.