Monday, December 22, 2008


Sissy was felled by a foul gastric virus, so I spent the day at her house Saturday, babysitting. In addition to Sprite and chicken soup mix, I brought rubber gloves and Clorox.When I talked to her the next day- she was asleep when I left that afternoon- I told her "I went 'Nino' on your house's ass downstairs."
My mother, who was a little- okay, a lot- OC, cleaned every suitable surface with chlorine bleach. While this kept her house spotless, it also may have been a factor in the COPD that kept her bedridden for the last year of her life.So, kids, don't try this at home. Unless someone has the throw-up flu, okay?
"Oh, thank you. Jake's got it now. I think he was just too close to me."

When I arrived home, I found that Ro had put up the tree, cleaned, and decorated. She was having some friends over to watch "White Christmas', a holiday tradition for them. What a lovely surprise, having a shining and festive house, 'cause I was pooped.
And yes, all us girls did sing along with the Haynes:
"Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters-"
I waited until a particulary egregious example of Technicolor:
"Hey, Ro."
"'The Fifties were an oddly-hued decade..."

Why my Husband is the Best: leaving Sis's, I found I had a message from Cathy, the volunteer co-ordinator, that we were running out of filled food boxes and would have an emergency work party in the morning before the Holiday Store opened at 1:00 on Sunday.I swung by on my way to Mass in the morning (I have a key) and decided that if we set up before the work party arrived, they'd have just that much more time to fill boxes. So, I called him and he came over and helped me set up the tables with food items and back stock underneath. He made some boxes, as well, and I even had six filled before Cathy arrived at 10:30. The work party made about 140, to add to the 255 we already had, so they're good until Tuesday.
(I occurs to me that all this volunteer reportage might sound as if we're braggin' on ourselves, but it's not meant to. This is just what I do- if I bred corgis or flew jets or wrestled alligators, I'd write about that.)

I was washing dishes at Sissy's and Bubs comes up and beats a tatoo on my behind.
"Ouch!" I said. "What are you doing, Bubbie?"
"It's otay, Mimi. I just patting you."
Well, pat a little more softly, please.

Have I mentioned that MJ is a gastric reflux baby? Her Mimi thinks even this is adorable, because it reminds her of Uncle Brother and Auntie Ro when they were babies. But it's wearing her mom down, having to do triple the usual amount of baby wash. A lesser person would have cratered by now and invested in a big pile of Gerber T-shirts and just popped a new one on about eight times a day, but Sis is still dressing her in her Naartjes and Baby Gap and Gymboree, so she looks precious.
But damp.
I assure her that the second Morgie can sit up by herself this will stop, just like turning off a faucet.

Target comes over to do laundry and make some peppermint bark for her employer.
"I have a new most-hated Christmas song."
"Yeah- It's a Marshmallow World".
"That is pretty bad. Of course nothing can ever beat out The Christmas Shoes-"
"I haven't heard that once this year."
"I think that's because mobs of people converge on the radio station with torches and pitchforks, if they play it."
"So, anyway, there was this version by Sinatra and Dean Martin. They sound absolutely hammered."
"I'm thinking that to get them to record Marshmallow World, liquor was probably involved."
"Well, they sounded awful, like they were just fooling around. I mean, I know you're hugely famous and all , but people might remember you for this."
"I doubt that, darling. My most-hated is still "And So This is Christmas".
"With those atonal kids?"
"Yes- but to me it's more the guilt trip: Hope you're having fun here at the Hobby Lobby when people are starving, heartless b."
"You know what I like that a lot of people hate, though? Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time"."
"Well, I think that has more to do with 'Sure, Sir Paul- you're having a wonderful Christmas time because you're a billionaire' than the tinkly tune."


mushroom said...

Let me preface by wishing you a very Merry Christmas.

if I bred corgis or flew jets or wrestled alligators, I'd write about that

If I bred corgis, I'd shoot myself.

On the other hand, I like Marshmallow World because Dean sounds hammered. I agree on So This is Christmas but of traditional Christmas songs, I absolutely hate Do You See What I See. It just goes on and on like one of those dreadful little rounds we used to have to sing in school. I am also very anti-Little Drummer Boy.

Then it could just be at this point, I am sick of Christmas music.

Sal said...

I cooncur.
The year I worked retail, part-time, almost turned me into a permanenet Grinch. Seriously, if I'd heard "Skating" from "A Charlie Brown Christmas" one more time, there might have been a rampage in Cloth World.

I've been anti-Drummer Boy since 1959, when we were given a 45 of the Vienna Boys' Choir singing it. I'm allergic to boy sopranos.

The other one I will leave the store over is "Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart". She gave your heart away because you are a wuss, pal. Man up and shut up.

A very Merry Christmas to you and yours, with prayers for the new year.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

I found it odd and funny that "Do you see what I see" played while the Gremlin (in the movie: Gremlins) tried to kill "Mom".
Of course we know who won that encounter, but you hafta think, did the song set the Gremlin off into his psychopathic rage?

Merry Christmas Sal!

Prayers for y'all to avoid the stomach flu/and/or recover quickly.

Sal said...

Excellent question, Ben!
We need a controlled experiment...
Sis has put them all under lockdown, so perhaps it won't spread, but thanks for the prayers- they need them.